Sometimes, I feel like just giving up on this running stuff. I work my a** off for mediocre results. Forty-thousand miles run in 23 years and I still weigh 20 pounds more than I'd like to weigh. I'm getting older, slower, and more and more resigned to the fact that I'll never be close to lean, never really be fast, I may never run sub-24 for 100 miles, and despite my lifting of the last 18 months, I'll never be strong.
Yes, I'm in way better shape than the average American. Yeah, I can do lots of things that most people never would or could do.
But, if I want to perform well, I have to live a very spartan and boring life. I have to stop drinking alcohol, I need to live on a very boring diet, and I need to sleep a lot. Sometimes, I think the challenges are a good thing. I sometimes think that I appreciate my occasional accomplishments more because I have to work so hard for them.
And other times, like today, I'm just sick of fighting the fight. I feel like I'm a mediocre runner, a mediocre skier, and my best days are behind me. And that feels depressing.
This morning, I was planning a ten miler. It was pouring when the alarm went off and I slept a bit longer. I finally got out the door and ran 5.7 soggy miles. I'm still beat from Saturday.
Last night, I did upper body lifts. I increased the weights on two of my six lifts, and it was a good workout.
After my run this morning, I stepped on a scale. Maybe that's what put me in this sour mood. All this work, and I still gain weight.
Maybe I'll delete this post later if I'm in a better mood.