Pathetic

Work has been kind of crazy recently. We are working on a second generation of our mail product and that version needs to be handling real patient data by mid-December. In the last 10 weeks, I've written over 10,000 lines of source code in Java and SQL. I've tested less than 10% of it so far. I have a lot of work left to do, and we got into a detailed technical discussion late yesterday afternoon at work. Suddenly, it was late. When I got out of the office and did the 10 minute walk to my car, I noticed that it was really windy and felt really cold. In some ways, the very best thing I could have done was changed clothes at my car and gone running. And, to be perfectly honest, it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do.

So, I hopped in my car, made one quick stop to pick up my skis from a local shop that had just tuned them, and then headed towards home. I decided that I'd lift instead of running. But, even as I got to the gym, I still felt stressed from the day at work. I changed clothes, did my warm-up, and then did my first set of front squats and back squats.

And then I decided to stop my workout. I just wasn't mentally there and I decided I'd rather go home and have dinner with my family rather than missing that time with them. I got home just as they sat down to dinner. Recently, on the days that I work at my company's office, rather than working at home, I've been getting home really late at times. I often miss dinner with the kids and my wife. There are even some days where I don't see my daughter at all, because I leave for work before she gets up and I get home after she goes to bed.

Today, I have a guitar lesson after work. And, I really need to get in a workout today after missing 3 of the last 5 days. I think I'm going to do a 30 minute speedwork session on the treadmill after the guitar lesson. That way, I'll still get home in time to make dinner and spend some time with my family.

Work and workouts and family life are in conflict right now. Workouts are very, very important to me, but sometimes, there just isn't enough time in the day. There was a time when I would have forced the workouts into the day, but that hasn't been my mindset recently.