Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Still a bit tired

I made it to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday last week.  The latter two workouts were the best I've had in awhile, but they left me exhausted for the weekend.

On Saturday, my wife and daughter and I had a bar mitzvah to attend in Saratoga Springs.  It was a great chance to see some friends that we don't get to see often enough.  In between the ceremony and the celebration that evening, our friends invited us to hang out at their house for the afternoon.  But, the tiredness won out and I napped all afternoon while my wife and daughter went shopping.

That evening, we left the party before it officially ended.  In the past, with these friends, I would have always been the last to leave, but my body just isn't there right now.  I do think that my wife is enjoying my abstinence from alcohol.  She is our designated driver more often than I am, but these days, I do most of the driving, allowing her to relax and have more fun at times.

On Sunday morning, we slept in and then checked out of our hotel.  We went to a nearby Mexican restaurant that my daughter loves, and I simply couldn't eat.  I sat there while my wife and daughter ate.  This is happening to me more and more often these days, and it's similar to when the cancer first made its presence noticeable in my life.  If I have some medical MJ, I'm hungry and I eat just fine.  Otherwise, I have zero appetite, and often, the only thing that tastes good is sweet foods.  I've now lost about 15 pounds since my chemo started, and the weight loss has been accelerating.  If I wasn't ten days away from surgery, I would be very concerned about this, but with the surgery coming up next week, I think I can put up with it for a little bit longer.

I dozed on the drive home and then took a real nap when we got home.  I woke up at 6:00 p.m., realizing that I had to mow the lawn.  It was supposed to rain all of Monday, and I had no other time to mow before we leave for NYC.  The lawn was a bit wet, but I managed to get it mowed.  It will be a couple weeks until it is mowed again, and my poor wife will be mowing that time.  It might be a couple months before I'm on the lawn tractor again.

After mowing, I managed to eat some dinner and we watched episodes 3 and 4 of Twin Peaks.  To be honest, I think the medical MJ enhanced both of those experiences.

On Monday, I slept in late again.  Napped in the afternoon.  I basically did nothing, to be honest.  I got 14 hours of sleep between the night of sleeping and the nap, so I'm guessing my body is still not recovered from the chemo.  Or perhaps these are effects from the cancer itself.  Either way, I was tired and I didn't fight back.  I just went with it.

I was almost happy when I had a hard time sleeping on Monday night.  I was hoping it meant that I'd slept all that my body needed.  This morning, I didn't sleep in the car on the way to work either - another thing I've been doing recently.  So, maybe my 37 hours of sleep over the weekend (according to my FitBit) were enough.

I'll find out at the gym tonight, I suppose.  My goal for this week is to do CrossFit on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday.  That last day will be my last CrossFit workout for six weeks or so, so this is my last chance to get any real training for a while.  For the first month or so after surgery, I will be limited to walking and maybe the stationary bike.

My previous post was about gratitude.  Since I made that post, my wife and I have received two more wonderful gifts.  One was an offer of a dinner in NYC from a skiing friend who reads my blog.  He even suggested a restaurant that I've wanted to visit in NYC for a long time - Craft Restaurant.  Well, he suggested two places, and I think that I picked the more expensive of the two.  I'll be sure to stay away from the ribeye for 2 at Craft - a $150 entree.  If I felt 100% healthy and I was paying for this myself, that would probably be something I'd like to try.  But, on someone else's dime, there are plenty of other great options there.

Also, my wife's co-workers gave her a gift to pay for dinner on her birthday, which is two nights before my surgery and the night after our kids head back home.  So, we are going to try one of the top bistros in the city - db Bistro Moderne.  In 2000, two nights before the NYC marathon, we had dinner at Daniel, one of the top restaurants in the city.  It was an absolutely amazing meal, despite the fact that I had a cold and couldn't taste everything properly.  The bistro is owned by the same chef - Daniel Boulud, and we are looking forward to our dinner there.

For both of those meals, I may need a little bit of my medication to make sure my stomach is in the mood to eat.  After the dinner on my wife's birthday, I won't be eating again for over a week, so I'd better make that last meal for a while a good meal.

So, we are headed to NYC on Saturday.  I am, of course, nervous about the surgery portion of the trip.  There are so many reasons that surgery is unpleasant.  Catheters, the early extreme pain, experience of "coming to" from general anesthesia and feeling that post-op pain for the first time, the compromised breathing, and the nurses who force you to get up and walk while you still hurt like hell.  I've been through it enough times to know what to expect, and I'm not looking forward to it.

But, thanks to some charities and some friends, we are going to have a really fun few days in NYC before the surgery, and I am very much looking forward to that part of the trip.  The rest is simply something that I have to do, and I will get through it the best that I can.

I remain filled with gratitude that we have the support and friendships that we have.  I know other people afflicted with this same disease, who have gotten no support from spouses, parents, or siblings.  I've gotten nothing but love from the people I know, and every bit of it is appreciated more than people can realize.

No comments: