Hard to figure out my workouts

On Tuesday, I was coming off three rest days where I'd slept a lot.  My two previous CrossFit workouts had gone reasonably well, so I was optimistic.  And then, I really struggled the entire workout.  We started with front squats and then back squats.  I did OK on them, although I kept the weight very light on the higher rep sets.

Then, our metabolic conditioning piece was 10 minutes long, a blend of rope jumping, very light deadlifts and shoulder-to-overheads (this can be strict presses, push presses, push jerks or split jerks - however you want to do it).  I honestly rested for at least 5 of the 10 minutes we were supposed to be moving.  I simply couldn't catch my breath.  I am probably still slightly anemic from the chemo, but this was more than that.  It could be fatigue caused by the cancer itself, an ongoing side effect of the chemo, or maybe something else.  My fitness has definitely decreased since I started chemo in February, so maybe I'm just not fit.

But, the end result was frustrating.  On a day I expected to have a good workout, I had anything but.

When I looked at the scheduled Wednesday workout, I wasn't happy.  Our Wednesdays have been hard recently and I expected that.  I didn't expect to have 80 or more burpees in our 40 minute workout.  We started with 10 bar holds (knees up as well) in the first ten minutes.  Then, 4 minutes alternating burpees and kettlebell swings.  Rest one minute.  Repeat the 4 minutes.

Then, 10 minutes of 2 push presses per minute.  Then, rest a minute.

Then, 4 minutes of burpees and wall balls.  Rest a minute.  Repeat.

I've really been struggling with burpees recently.  It's a whole body movement that requires a lot of oxygen, which I'm struggling with.  Also, my side, where the cancer tumors are located, is not happy when I do them.  They basically create some pain in my abdomen.  And, from the rep schemes, the minimum number of burpees was going to be 80.  My wife ended up doing about 100.

So, I spent most of the day planning to skip the workout.  Eventually, it occurred to me that I didn't have to do burpees.  I could change things and still get a good workout.  I decided on 16" box step-ups instead of burpees.

I went to the gym.  Still nervous after the day before.  I survived the warm-up.  Got my equipment set up.  And, I got started.  And, for some reason, my moderate effort - sort of a slow, methodical approach - worked just fine.  It wasn't easy, but I got through the workout without feeling like I'd been run over by a truck.

I have no idea why Wednesday, a harder workout than Tuesday, went so much better.  I'm just glad that it did.

Today is a rest day.  Tomorrow will be my last CrossFit workout for a while - possibly six weeks or so.

And, on Saturday, I head to NYC to start the process for my surgery next Thursday.  The surgery is only a week away right now and my anxiety levels are climbing.  Open abdominal surgeries are never trivial and this surgery could last up to six hours.  I will be in the hospital, recovering, for at least a week.  There will be a lot of pain involved.

Next Friday, the day after my surgery, at some point in time, a cadre of nurses will descend on my room.  Their goal will be to get me up and walking.  It will hurt like hell, but they won't take no for an answer.  The walking gets better each day.  I understand why they want me to do it.  In just a few days, I'll be walking multiple miles around the floor each day.  But, that first walk is terrible.  Having a Foley catheter is unpleasant.  Well, the catheter isn't a terrible issue.  It's having it removed that I don't like.  Sometimes, it just feels weird.  Other times, it can be truly painful to have it removed.

So the surgery is getting closer.  But first, I have a few days to hang out with my family in NYC and enjoy the city.  We have some nice dinner reservations and plans to visit some museums.  I'm just going to walk a lot, enjoy the time with my family, and not think about the surgery, if that's possible.