I slept 13 hours on Friday night. Took Saturday as a rest day. Cooked a bit.
I tried to stay up late on Saturday to watch the Sharks and Warriors in their playoff games. But, when the Sharks went down 2-0 early in the second period and the Warriors were trailing badly, I couldn't take it anymore and went to bed. Being primarily a Sharks' fan, I was glad I didn't watch any more. A season that was so promising at the end of February will forever be remembered as a complete failure.
Sunday morning, my wife and I went to Stowe to ski with a friend. Thanks to a major disconnect, we waited for 2+ hours, never found our friend, and never skied.
So, I went home and took the dog for a walk instead. Then, headed out fly fishing and nearly drowned. OK, I didn't really almost drown, but my expensive waders, which were just fine a few weeks ago, now seem to be full of holes, and I got cold and wet very quickly. I think I quit fishing after 15 minutes. Right this minute, I feel like just giving up on fishing, but I'm sure that will all change as soon as I actually hook a fish this year. As much as I love fishing, I will never be one of those guys willing to work 12 hours in a day for a single fish or even a single strike. I appreciate the work ethic of people who can do that, but it's just not who I am. If I go hours without catching a fish, or at least believing I'm going to catch a fish, it gets old very quickly. Yesterday was very much like that - cold, wet, high water, no signs of life. Just no fun at all.
After fishing, I went home and just laid down for a while. I'm just feeling beat up by life right now. It just seems that nothing has gone well recently.
I ordered some new waders from Patagonia this morning. They have a lifetime warranty. I told my wife that the phrase lifetime warranty meant a lot more to me before I ever heard the word liposarcoma.
The one thing that makes me happy right now is that I have zero medical appointments this week. It seems it's been months since that happened.
I do need to get in touch with Sloan Kettering this week. I need to know if we are going to end chemo after next Monday, and if so, do I need an appointment in NYC as a pre-surgical follow-up. Or, are we going to go for the full 8 rounds, which means chemo until the end of May? Either way, I need a break right about now.
Sometimes, I can stay positive in the middle of this giant shitstorm. This past week just hasn't been that way. I'm easily at the lowest point I've been since I first heard the word liposarcoma, and I need something to change.
Somehow, I need to find a way to train in the gym this week, and if the past weeks off of chemo are any indication, it's going to be a tough week.