Monday, April 24, 2017

How boring can a weekend get?

I slept 13 hours on Friday night.  Took Saturday as a rest day.  Cooked a bit.

I tried to stay up late on Saturday to watch the Sharks and Warriors in their playoff games.  But, when the Sharks went down 2-0 early in the second period and the Warriors were trailing badly, I couldn't take it anymore and went to bed.  Being primarily a Sharks' fan, I was glad I didn't watch any more.  A season that was so promising at the end of February will forever be remembered as a complete failure.

Sunday morning, my wife and I went to Stowe to ski with a friend.  Thanks to a major disconnect, we waited for 2+ hours, never found our friend, and never skied.

So, I went home and took the dog for a walk instead.  Then, headed out fly fishing and nearly drowned.  OK, I didn't really almost drown, but my expensive waders, which were just fine a few weeks ago, now seem to be full of holes, and I got cold and wet very quickly.  I think I quit fishing after 15 minutes.  Right this minute, I feel like just giving up on fishing, but I'm sure that will all change as soon as I actually hook a fish this year.  As much as I love fishing, I will never be one of those guys willing to work 12 hours in a day for a single fish or even a single strike.  I appreciate the work ethic of people who can do that, but it's just not who I am.  If I go hours without catching a fish, or at least believing I'm going to catch a fish, it gets old very quickly.  Yesterday was very much like that - cold, wet, high water, no signs of life.  Just no fun at all.

After fishing, I went home and just laid down for a while.  I'm just feeling beat up by life right now.  It just seems that nothing has gone well recently.

I ordered some new waders from Patagonia this morning.  They have a lifetime warranty.  I told my wife that the phrase lifetime warranty meant a lot more to me before I ever heard the word liposarcoma.

The one thing that makes me happy right now is that I have zero medical appointments this week.  It seems it's been months since that happened.

I do need to get in touch with Sloan Kettering this week.  I need to know if we are going to end chemo after next Monday, and if so, do I need an appointment in NYC as a pre-surgical follow-up.  Or, are we going to go for the full 8 rounds, which means chemo until the end of May?  Either way, I need a break right about now.

Sometimes, I can stay positive in the middle of this giant shitstorm.  This past week just hasn't been that way.  I'm easily at the lowest point I've been since I first heard the word liposarcoma, and I need something to change.

Somehow, I need to find a way to train in the gym this week, and if the past weeks off of chemo are any indication, it's going to be a tough week.

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