Reboot

A couple people were kind enough to say that they actually enjoy reading my blog.  So, I've been thinking about what I would write about if I did continue to write.

And, I've decided that I do have some topics that I think are worth writing about.

I'm pretty convinced that my running days are over, at least from a competitive perspective.  I could probably still get myself back into decent running shape if I made it a priority.  However, I don't really want to do that.  I was talked into signing up for the 100 on 100 relay here in Vermont earlier this year.  I've done it a number of times and we have a fun team, but I knew I didn't really want to train for it.  But, my wife and another friend talked me into signing up.  And then, two months ago, facing the prospect of an 8 mile run, I told my wife "no way".  I did 4 miles with her that day and then found someone to replace me on the relay team.  And, I'm really glad that I made the decision to drop from the race.

I still run a little.  Ride my bike some.  Ski all winter.  But mostly, I do CrossFit to stay in shape these days.  I simply don't have the spare time I had years ago at the height of my ultra training.  Being the IT Director of a software start-up company is the most time-consuming job I've ever had.  And, I like the job and the company and the people I work with, so I work hard at trying to keep us in business.  CrossFit gives me a chance to work hard for about an hour a day, 4-5 days per week.  Also, I've been running solo for years and I miss training with people in a supportive environment.  CrossFit is a group workout and I really enjoy the community that I've joined.

As I have my entire life, I continue to battle the scale.  I've been almost lean a few times in my life.  But, it's always been fleeting.  As I get older, the battle gets tougher.  I'm not so concerned about the scale anymore, given the amount of heavy lifting that I do.  But, I wish the mirror was kinder when I manage to see how big I am at present.

I try to eat a Paleo diet and I'm sure I'll talk about that in the future.  However, my adherence is nowhere near what it should be, and my main nemesis remains bread.  Wheat.  A food that acts like an opioid.  Even after reading Wheat Belly, I still haven't been able to give it up entirely.

Let's not even talk about the calories in adult beverages and how alcohol sabotages fat loss.

And lastly, I'm going to write some posts about mental health, hormones, and some interesting changes that have been going on in my life recently.  I've been taking a handful of meds for anxiety and depression for the past 8 years.  And, despite repeated requests to doctors along the way, I was completely ignored when I was pretty sure I knew there was an underlying problem causing the depression.

I finally went out of state to a specialist and paid every penny out of pocket - appointments, lab tests, medications, etc.  And, what I long suspected was confirmed by a blood test.  My testosterone levels were way out of range - about the average level for a ninety year old man.  So, for the past 10 weeks, I've been giving myself testosterone injections, under a doctor's supervision.  Two of the four brain meds I'd been using are now gone and I'm expecting to ditch the other two by the end of the year.  I also hope to get rid of two other medications that I've been taking,but that is a longer term issue.

After having stalled out in the gym, I'm actually making some progress again.  My weight is actually going up right now, but I'm pretty sure I'm not adding fat mass. In the long run, the testosterone should help with fat loss as well.

I have to say that I'm not crazy about giving myself a minimum of four injections per week, but I feel so much better right now that I almost look forward to the "shot days".

Right now, I'm just trying to find a way to be fit and healthy and happy as I get older.  I don't think I need to be as competitive an athlete as I've been.  I just want to be able to do the things I enjoy for years to come.