On the way in to work this morning, I heard the J. Geils Band's song "Love Stinks". All I could think as I heard those words sung over and over was "Chemo sucks".
In some ways, maybe I could even call it luck, it's been a couple years since I've been on a truly cytotoxic chemo regimen. I did gemcitabine and taxotere about 15 months ago, but the side effects there are just nothing compared to doxorubicin, which is what I'm doing now.
I think I was in the infusion clinic for close to 7 hours last Friday. First, I had lab-work done. Then, met with my doctor. Then, the endless infusions of medications. Benadryl. One to protect my heart from the doxorubicin. Then, two different long acting anti-nausea meds. Then, dexamethasone, which I need to take slowly due to a sensitivity to the that one. I basically passed out the first time I had IV dex, and they've since discovered that I'm OK if infused over an hour rather than 10-15 minutes. And then finally, one chemo drug and then another.
I spent most of the weekend flat on my back on the couch, with no appetite at all. I managed to get down a milk shake each day as my only source of calories, plus I tried to get plenty of fluids. I wanted to get out and go fly fishing but it just wasn't in the cards.
I have three different medications for nausea at my disposal - Zofran, compazine and lorazepam. Of those three drugs, two are known to cause hiccups in some people, while the third, compazine, is sometimes used to try to alleviate hiccups. Yet, I seem to be getting hours-long hiccup attacks (every six seconds for hours at a time) while on the compazine, which seems completely backwards to me. My last two nights of sleep have been interrupted by hours of hiccups.
I'm still feeling pretty rough mentally. If you've never heard to term "chemo brain", let me assure you that it's a real phenomenon, and working in IT, it makes the work day difficult. I have two meds to help with the fatigue and chemo brain and they help, but I'm just not quite my normal sharp self.
I did have an appointment with a specialist on Monday due to persistent concerns about my one remaining kidney. I lost a kidney when my original liposarcoma tumor was removed, and about 15 months ago, my kidney health readings (a test known as eGFR) started to decline. The number should ideally be about 90, although with one lost kidney, it's rare to see numbers above 70. But, mine have been ranging from 36-43 for the past 15 months. Higher scores are better with this lab test, as it's an estimate of how fast your body can excrete excess creatinine in the blood.
Amazingly, last Friday, before chemo started, my eGFR was at 56 - the highest it's been in those last 15 months. Yesterday, I saw a nephrologist. He had mapped my eGFR scores against my various cancer drugs for the past 15 months. What he saw was a pattern of two drugs negatively influencing my kidney function. If he was right, he said my kidney function should be rebounding, which is exactly what we'd seen the previous Friday. So, for now, that is one less thing to worry about. He said he thinks I'm fine and I don't need to return to see him unless the scores become depressed again.
I did manage to make it to the gym last night. I had to scale the workout somewhat, mostly to keep nausea at bay, but I was able to do the workout at about 75% of my normal capacity. I was able to eat some solid food when I got home last night.
Today, my thought patterns are still a little bit scrambled. It's like I'm living underwater - everything just happens slowly and I can't seem to operate at full speed. But, it will get better day after day, I should soon be back to normal.
This coming Friday, I still have chemo, but not the doxorubicin. Hopefully, I'll feel a lot better this coming weekend than I felt last weekend. And maybe, no hiccup attacks.
If the weather holds, maybe I'll even get the lawn mowed and get in some fly fishing over the holiday weekend.
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