A typical day is probably half meetings. Weekend and evening work is common. Missing the gym because I have to work late has happened way too often. Most days, I'm lucky if I can find five minutes to get a little bit of lunch. There are some things about the job that I really enjoy, but the net effect is that it's simply overwhelming and I feel like I can never catch up.
Part of this is to be expected. I went from a position where I was the company expert in almost every facet of the operation. Now, I've got a steep learning curve, a huge amount of work, and it's very difficult to keep up. No matter how much I work, I feel like I should be working more.
I guess this kind of job is why I make the salary that I make, but it's been a challenge so far. And, I wish I could say that it's been fun to date, but that would simply be untrue.
I am hopeful that things will settle down over time. I'll get better at the job, our position with our primary customer will improve, and hopefully we'll be able to staff back up to the level that we need. I know my department isn't the only department that's understaffed, and everyone is scrambling to keep up.
Such is life, I suppose.
My next appointment at Sloan Kettering is in 9 days. I've been having worse pain recently in the area of the three liposarcoma surgeries that I've already had, and that is worrying. Today, I skipped skiing because of the pain and the need to take pain meds. I simply don't want to ski with opiates in my system; the risk of injury is just too high, and I'm still recovering from a skiing injury and surgery earlier in the winter.
Trout season started last weekend and I was entered in an opening weekend fly fishing tournament. Regretfully, due to late winter weather, a lack of snow tires (I changed them at a reasonable time, but winter just kept coming), and generally miserable conditions, I opted not to fish in the tournament. I joke at times that I'll never catch a fish in this tournament. But, the past 3 years, my fishing time has been decreasing due to illness (and now weather), and I'm starting to wonder if I should just not sign up next year. Early season fishing in VT simply isn't fun at times, and I fish to have fun. I'm not someone who enjoys spending hours at a time on the water with little chance of catching anything. So, perhaps this tournament is something that I should reconsider in the future.
Not much else is going on. I'm trying my best to get to the gym as often as possible. But, between work and dealing with pain, this has been challenging. If I'm completely honest, work is driving everything right now. I feel like I should be working every possible second, yet I truly don't want a job that rules my life that way.
Hopefully, this will improve over time, and I'll feel more comfortable not working the evenings and weekends.
I need to get out fishing. I have concert tickets for a number of shows this spring and summer and I'm looking forward to them. I still want to do some skiing. And yet, I'm constantly haunted by the belief that I should be working.
I worked today for a while, but did manage to sneak out for a run to preserve my sanity.
I'd be lying if I said I was truly enjoying life right now, and that's just not acceptable.
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