Back to CrossFit and Paying the Price

I'm so sore I can barely walk.  No, let's be honest, I can barely move.  But, believe it or not, it's a good thing.  Over the weekend, I was moving a lot.  My daughter and I walked around the Syracuse campus a fair amount on Friday.  She accepted her admission that day, which puts that whole selection process behind us.  I think everyone is glad that it's over.  Anyway, we also spent 5 hours in the car on both Thursday and Friday, which is never a good thing.

On Saturday, I walked 4 miles with my wife and one of our dogs.  The other dog has gotten so old and her hips so weak that she is fine not going on walks these days.  But, the younger dog needs to drop a few pounds, so he gets to go along every time.

Sunday, I fished most of the day, and my FitBit recorded over 10,000 steps, but it wasn't really exercise of any sort.  On Monday though, I returned to doing CrossFit workouts.

I'm scaling the workouts.  A lot.  Even though I went into this latest surgery in better shape than my surgery last September, I've still lost a lot.  After the surgery in September, I resumed CrossFit 7 weeks after surgery.  This time, I started CF only 5.5 weeks after surgery.  It's not a huge difference, and I know I'm in better shape than when I re-started in November, but my strength is poor right now.  I'm also still slightly anemic.  I talked to my doctor about the hemoglobin levels last week, and she wasn't concerned at all.  But, despite very good blood work overall, I'm still not quite right.  And, the pain in my abdomen reminds me that I'm not fully healed.  The "typical" minimum recovery from major abdominal surgery is 6 weeks, so I'm certainly pushing the envelope a bit.

Monday, the workout started with front squats.  Just before I started feeling sick a year ago, I'd set a new front squat PR at 305#.  We had done a focused training cycle on front squats at the gym, and this was a big PR for me.  On Monday, I did 8 sets of 3 reps at 63#.  Yep, that's it.  And, it was plenty.  Then, some lunges with an empty 33# barbell on my back.  After that, I did 30-20-10 of air squats, with a 400 meter run after each set of squats.  It took me just over 10 minutes and I was surprised that running (really a slow jog for now) felt OK.  Not great, but better than expected.

Last night, we started with Olympic lifting.  Again, I kept things light.  I did 10x2 power snatches at 53#.  Then, 10x2 clean and jerks (power clean, push jerk) at 73#.  Both of those numbers are about 40% of my one rep max, but those one rep max values were set in December of 2014, before liposarcoma became part of my life.  After the Oly lifts, I did as many reps as possible in 10 minutes of 10 ball slams and 10 ring rows.  I did 6 rounds plus 11 reps.

Which brings us to today.  As I said, I can barely move.  My wife is sore as well.  I think we will skip CF tonight and just go for a walk.  Tomorrow night, we can choose our own movements at CF, so we will be able to pick things that don't hurt too much.

So, I've been out traveling with my daughter.  Out fishing with a friend.  Going for walks with my wife and dog.  Things are returning to normal in many ways.  I even hope to ski this coming weekend - one last day on the slopes for the season.  But, in the back of my mind, I feel some level of desperation.  I'm going on vacation in mid-June.  The whole family is going to Lake Tahoe for a week right after my daughter's high school graduation.  But, the day after we get back, I'll be going to NYC for my first post-op CT scan.  The odds are good that the scan will be clean, but there are no guarantees.

So, the desperation I feel is the need to get myself back into shape quickly.  If I need more treatment, I want to be strong going in.  If I don't need more treatment, I want to be in good shape to enjoy the summer anyway.  I feel like I've just lost so much fitness in the past year, and even over the last 2.5 years, if I include my prostate cancer surgery.  But, I can only regain strength and fitness at a fixed rate.  I'm old enough that I know I'll get hurt if I push too hard.  I hope I'm experienced enough to not do that.  So, I need to find that fine line, to regain fitness as fast as possible, while not getting hurt.

And, I'd like to go a day now and then without worrying about cancer and the risk for recurrences in the future.  But, I'm guessing that's just not going to happen.  Maybe ever.  But, that doesn't mean it will rule my life.  As long as I'm clear of cancer, I'm going to dictate how I live my life, not the doctors.